At times, I sit here not knowing what to write, yet there are so many things that I have to write about, so many things that are
"bothering" me deep inside. So much I have to say to the world, why doesn’t it come out? I speak to the mirror, to my reflwction, a self-therapy, somehow reaching my inner self - at times it seems like two different people, the inside and out. They are different when you think of it, one is deep and one is shallow, well generally speaking because this applies to everyone. I’m just typing away, typing away whatever is on my mind. I’m “thinking out loud”, yet I’m actually quiet at the moment. My mind on the the other hand is never quiet, that thing doesn’t stop driving. My back is aching while sitting on this comfortable chair, oddly enough I’m uncomfortable on this comfortable chair.
I jogged today.
My first time really jogging in a long time, I never really pushed myself to the limit to jog to my utmost hierarchy. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. I inhale through my nose and exhale out of my mouth ( I googled that a while ago, nobody really knows how to breathe right btw, lol). I almost fainted as I got to my friend’s house, I saw stars, literally saw stars. It was as if someone or something came over from the bottom pit of my insides. It was a terrible yet rejuvenating feeling, my eyes and face felt like they were being succumbed left and right, up and down, NORTH SOUTH EAST WEST. A part of me died today and came back, it seemed to me as if the universe is preparing me for the inner reconstruction of me. I cried, I was afraid, I feel healed now.
I’m finally healed. GOD knows I needed that. The way my life is and has been, the way I see life has gotten the past me.